Courtney Lane as a little girl that didn't want to leave our camp on the lake

-
By Tom Lane - now better known as Lisa Lane McCarty's father and Courtney Lane's grand-father

My grand-daughter, Courtney, enjoyed herself at the camp I built on Aziscohos Lake in Western Maine. You can see she didn't want to leave - just as we do not want to see her leave us. She has a current support system, mostly in the form of my daughter, Lisa Lane McCarty - known to Courtney as Auntie Lisa - or Auntie Cisa (Lisa Lane as a little girl could not pronounce her "L"'s).

Courtney tells me she doesn't like Twitter, so to annoy her (seemingly my major purpose in life), I am posting this article, including the tweet. I do so to increase the number of people in her support system. And if she complains too much, I will not be preparing baked stuffed lobster for her for our pre-Christmas dinner.


Follow Tom at @CelticsLife, @TomLaneHC, @CelticsSentinel and Facebook (Yes, that's three Twitter handles)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When a Picture Captures a Thousand Emotions

-
Image
I came across this picture of Courtney a week or so ago. And it has just stuck with me since. I can tell you exactly what Courtney was doing here based on the expression on her face and her hand gesture. She was making a joke about herself most likely. I know that look. I know that hand gesture. And I can hear her subsequent deep giggle as if she was sitting right next to me now.  And I know she was happy, not only by the smile on her face, but because of a few other things going on in this picture. She was at her very favorite restaurant on the planet, Kitty's in North Reading. She was eating her favorite meal, lobster pie. I know that for an absolute fact even though there's no evidence to support it in this picture. Because she always ate lobster pie at Kitty's. And she was with her family - all of us - which always made her happy.   Courtney clearly had thrown her hair up for the occasion. She was wearing no make-up on. No jewelry. But what makes me smile is, she's ...
Read more

Courtney Found a Way

-
Image
When I went into Courtney's room to say "goodbye" to her on November 8th, she was heavily sedated and unresponsive. This was by design. It was time to let her go. But not before I went in to sit with her, hold her hand and say everything to her that I had stored up in my heart.  One of the things I said to Courtney that awful day was this: "Courtney, if you can find a way to come see me, to talk to me, to visit me...I need you to do it. If there is a way after death to find me, please come see me." And she did . I shouldn't be surprised by this because, when Courtney put her mind to something, there is nothing she could not accomplish. That was the stubborn in her. But it was also the love in her. There is nothing Courtney would not do for the people she loved. And she loved me.  Since Courtney died, many people have suggested to me that I see a medium to try to connect with Courtney. I have never really bought into this whole concept. I'm skept...
Read more

Grieving During a Pandemic

-
Image
Courtney on a ventilator at Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center I joke and use sarcasm as a coping mechanism. We all do something to get ourselves through tough times and unbearable pain. And that's what I do. And it works for me most of the time. But don't think for one second that I am not profoundly sad at least once a day. And it's more like many, many times a day. And not to make this pandemic about me but I will for just one minute so please indulge me. Seeing constant images of hospitals, nurses, doctors, ICUs, gloves, masks, gowns, electronic vital sign monitors...and, worst of all, ventilators is causing me such anxiety and trauma. I can smell the smells. I can hear the noises and the beeping. I know how to read all the machines, including the ventilator settings. I became an expert in reading Courtney's ventilator settings so I could watch for improvement. When you walk onto an ICU, all the patients' electronic vital sign monitors are displayed nex...
Read more