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                                                              "Fly, fly, precious one; Your endless journey has begun; Take your gentle happiness; Far too beautiful for this; Cross over to the other shore; There is peace forevermore; But hold this memory bittersweet; Until we meet.   ~ "Fly" (Celine Dion) I told you I would start with the end first. And I've put it off long enough. But, as I think about this, I don't think the end can be fully understood until I tell the steps leading up to it. I'm hoping that writing about it all will release some of the horror of it for me. I doubt it. But I'll try anything at this point.  I thank you in advance for being willing to read this because there is no way you will be immune from taking on a piece of my pain as you hear the full s...

"And now I'm glad I didn't know; The way it all would end, the way it all would go; Our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain; But I'd have had to miss the dance." ~ Garth Brooks, "The Dance" Courtney started this blog because, after years of keeping her cf journey to herself, she decided to open up and start sharing it with everyone. She didn't end up writing much on here but, what she did write, was poignant, direct and so well-written. Because Courtney and I were always a team, she invited me to write on here as well. So this became me and Courtney's blog. We are still a team and will be forever. So I will continue this blog to write ALL the many things I want to share about my beautiful Courtney, including her life, her hopes, her dreams, her wishes, her childhood, my memories and her fierce fight with the unforgiving disease that is cystic fibrosis.   When I sat by Courtney's bedside, held her hand and sai...

"Because I can count on my fingers how many sunsets I have left and I don't want to miss any of them." So, maybe I don't know exactly how many sunsets I have left, but I know there will never be as many as I wish there could be and that sunsets for me are not even sunsets, but the moments I have left with the people I love.  Being end stage in a disease, while working towards a way to hopefully prolong your life (a double lung transplant) is an incredibly taxing affair. Physically, emotionally and mentally. You're forced to look at ALL possibilities. Of course, you always hope for the absolute best outcome. One of the things you deal with is people always telling you in one way or another to "think positive only." Well, wouldn't it be nice if life was that easy. Sorry to break it to the vast majority, but, I'm a realist. Now I know when people say these things, it's usually coming from a place of love and encouragment...

  The Life of a Cystic Fibrosis Patient (The Princess and The Pauper)       In this blog, you can expect to follow me through my life experiences, both past and present. Stories of the many people that have impacted my life. Family, doctors, friends, nurses, and other patients. Near death experiences, of which there were many. Updates. Articles. There is a story here.  There are many, in fact, all leading up to the biggest story of all, my life.  I hope it helps or educates at least one person and if it can't be for anyone else? I hope that the one person it helps, is me.   For the majority of my life, I hid my disease, from everyone I could. I never looked sick, so therefore, I never needed to tell anyone that I was dying. What importance would it have? What difference would it make, other than people treating me like a charity case? I didn't want that. To me, I was strong, I was c...